The Least Favorite Thanksgiving Dishes: A Culinary Roast
Thanksgiving is all about family, gratitude, and—let’s face it—food. It’s the one time of year when we gather around a table overflowing with platters meant to showcase the best of comfort food. But not all of these classic Thanksgiving dishes are created equal. Some of them have overstayed their welcome, taking up valuable plate real estate while no one truly loves them. So, in the spirit of honesty, here’s my take on the least favorite Thanksgiving offerings that might deserve a spot on the bench this year.
1. Canned Cranberry Sauce
We need to talk about canned cranberry sauce, the wobbly, gelatinous cylinder that somehow makes its way onto the table every year. Its perfectly ridged form is a reminder that it hasn’t seen a real cranberry in ages. Sure, it’s tradition for some, but the taste is more sugary goo than anything resembling fruit. Fresh cranberry sauce? Sure, I’ll take a scoop. But the canned stuff? It’s a hard pass from me—I’ll stick to adding more gravy to my plate, thanks.
2. Ham…The Uninvited Guest
Why do we sometimes find ham, all glazed and spiral-sliced, sitting alongside our turkey on Thanksgiving Day? It’s like showing up to a wedding in a white dress—you’re not the main character, ham! Sure, ham has a solid reputation at Christmas, where it gets to be the star. But Thanksgiving? It’s like it just wandered into the wrong holiday and decided to stick around.
3. Ambrosia Salad
There are certain foods that should never be mixed together, and Ambrosia Salad is the poster child for this concept. Who decided that marshmallows, canned fruit, coconut, and sometimes mayonnaise belonged together in a bowl? It’s more of a chaotic dessert than a salad, yet it somehow makes an appearance as a side dish at Thanksgiving. Let’s be real: no one is reaching for the Ambrosia when there’s perfectly good pumpkin pie waiting on the sideboard. If it were up to me, this retro dish would stay in the 1950s, where it belongs.
4. Pecan Pie
I know, I know—some of you are gasping at the mention of this one. But hear me out: pecan pie is basically a dense sugar bomb wrapped in a crust. The filling is so rich and syrupy that after one bite, I feel like I’ve just downed a spoonful of molasses. And don’t even get me started on the way those pecans always seem to weld themselves to the top, making cutting a slice feel like cracking open a geode. I get that it’s a classic, but in a dessert battle between pecan pie and a lighter, spiced pumpkin pie, my vote is clear.
5. Jell-O Salad
If you’ve never encountered a Jell-O salad at Thanksgiving, consider yourself lucky. This wobbly, neon-colored relic from another era often contains a mix of fruit, whipped cream, and sometimes—brace yourself—shredded carrots. It’s like the dessert no one asked for, taking up space on a plate that could be filled with stuffing or mashed potatoes. It looks out of place next to the turkey and gravy, like it wandered in from a children’s birthday party and just stayed. It’s time to gently retire this one, leaving it behind like a childhood memory best left unexamined.
So, there you have it—my list of the least favorite Thanksgiving dishes that could use a little less love this year. Of course, these are just my opinions, and maybe you’re the one person out there who truly looks forward to a spoonful of Jell-O salad or a slice of canned cranberry jelly. But for the rest of us, there’s no shame in passing these dishes by and going for a second helping of mashed potatoes instead. Happy Thanksgiving, and may your plates be filled with only the best!
