Every day at 2:20 p.m. Johnny B is joined by Hollywood Kyle who comes in to “challenge the norm, state the obvious, and defy the laws of human nature.”
Today marks the 100th episode of Hollywood Kyle, so in celebration, here are 100 thoughts that do just that…
To listen to more of Hollywood Kyle, please click here.
If the devil has a pitchfork, and the grim reaper has a scythe, agriculture must be a major industry in the underworld.
All answers to the question, "Are we alone in the universe?" are equally scary.
Maybe dogs are afraid of vacuum cleaners because they're intimidated by anything that can do one continuous woof.
Baby Yoda's first words probably came after his second word.
If two mind readers met, it would create a horrible feedback noise in their minds.
Pavlov probably thought about feeding his dogs every time someone rang a bell...
Random bags around the city are urban tumbleweeds.
People don't realize the reason Squidward's music is so bad is because he is blowing water through the instrument, causing it to not work like it would with air.
In 6 years, Ashton Kutcher will be AK-47.
If you woke up and had the power to walk through walls, it would take you a long time to realize.
Watching paint dry on a microscopic scale would ironically be very interesting.
Yelling at a plant to grow actually works, as you provide it with carbon dioxide needed for photosynthesis.
If they make you wear a wristband that says it, you're really not a VIP.
If a year always had 364 days, birthdays would fall on the same day of the week every year. What's worse, Friday the 13th or Monday birthdays?
The original emergency number was changed from 999 to 911 to make it faster to dial on rotary phones, but with a cell phone 999 would now be faster again.
Superheroes probably just wear capes to hide the zipper on the back of their onesies.
Maybe urinals were invented when a tall guy walked by a sink and thought "why not?"
As a species we can travel vast distances in a few hours, we can combat disease, educate ourselves, but we still cannot deselect a floor on an elevator.
A lot of people's lives are determined by where their teacher randomly assigned them to sit.
Thermometers are simply speedometers for atoms.
Since there are 2 connecting holes on our body, we are technically straws...
Bubble gum and birthday cake are flavors in themselves, but actual bubblegum and actual birthday cake can be any flavor.
99.9% of animals will live their lives without ever knowing what it's like to burn their tongue.
Cannibals would consider a vegan person "grass-fed."
Cereal boxes come with toys every once in a while for little kids...Wouldn't this be a better business model for bags of dog food?
As a child, you used to get a lot of praise if you ate all of your food and took good naps. As an adult, people look down upon you for snacking and sleeping too much.
A circle is a shape, a letter, and a number.
Cucumbers and jellyfish are 95% water. Therefore there is only a 5% difference between a jellyfish and a cucumber.
It's rumored that Matt Groening could be a time traveler who created the Simpson's to warn us, and created Futurama to describe his own world.
Your parents calling you handsome is technically a compliment for themselves...
The smell of walking into somebody's house for the 1st time is different for every single house.
Someday archaeologists are going to dig up Disney World and think we worshiped a mouse.
The only way to successfully throw away a garbage can is to stick a sign on it.
Dropping a cup of coffee usually wakes you up more than drinking it.
All our dreams have really great graphics, but the whole physics system always seems to remain terrible.
If it weren't for movies, the average person would probably have no idea what an elevator shaft looks like.
In an age of facial recognition surveillance and security, plastic surgery is going to be like a the new virtual private network.
Not even once in the Fast and Furious movie series did they stop for gas.
Gravity doesn't keep you on the floor. The floor stops gravity sucking you down to the planet's core.
Heist movies based on real heists make more money than the heist itself.
Gum doesn't become tasteless once you chew on it for a while, it just becomes the flavor of your mouth.
In the Harry Potter world, instead of a static image, you can probably get a gif file tattooed on you...
People will say the coin landed on heads, but in reality, the coin is landing on tails.
We live in a world where more than often, GTA is played by kids, and Candy Crush is played by adults.
There will eventually be one person who is born on Mars, grows up on Mars, and believes that Mars is flat.
Snakes kill in two ways: with hugs and with kisses.
Rock, paper, scissors are commonly used for greetings. (Peace, wave, fist bump)
Someday, products may have a "Made on Earth" sticker.
It is impossible to touch any reflection that isn't your own.
They don't let you smile in passport photos because they want you to look the same as if you were standing in line at customs for an hour.
Memory foam doesn't remember us, it remembers itself without us, and when it starts to remember us, we throw it away.
Metals are extracted from rock. Which means it's not coincidental that metal music is derived from rock music.
People who grew up with MySpace in their early teens kind of got a freebie in terms of your first major social media profile basically being wiped away.
While we sleep our brains make up stories and then sometimes gets scared of them.
During a nuclear explosion, there is a certain distance of the radius where all the frozen supermarket pizzas will be cooked to perfection.
Literal centuries to learn the Common Language Yoda had. Amass a wide vocabulary, he did. But bother to learn the basic grammar, he did not.
The old folks you see in retirement commercials are not actually retired...they are working, paid actors.
The song about Old MacDonald's Farm is truly depressing once you consider everything is sang in the past tense.
Have you ever taken the time to notice?...There is a serious lacking of olives at "Olive Garden".
Technically speaking, origami is a kind of woodworking.
Our nose runs and our feet smell.
When we think of Outer Space, we consider it to be futuristic, even though it's been there since the very beginning.
If scratch off lottery tickets would cost 99 cents instead of 1 dollar, people would have 1 cent to scratch it off.
Patrick Star was stupid because he lived under a rock.
Paul McCartney sang the first line on the first song on The Beatles' first album. And he also sang the last line on the last song on their last album.
The reason Luigi is believed to be weaker than Mario is because he's always player 2, and player 2 has traditionally been our younger siblings.
If the illustrator of Where's Waldo wanted to give us a real challenge , he could have just left Waldo out of one of the books.
Pets have no idea that they are 90% of "the internet."
The creator of Photoshop would have had much more fun if they never told anyone about it.
Nobody would hire a painter who did portraits that made them look worse than they actually do. So if you've seen an "ugly" painting before, they probably looked worse in person.
The internet both almost killed off the postal service with email, and then made it more needed than ever with online delivery.
People are so amazed by the fact that every snowflake is different, but nobody cares that every potato is unique.
When a starving predator is chasing prey, they are both running for their lives.
They'll never tell you just how much time as an adult you will dedicate to figuring out whether to throw out a cardboard box or not.
People who say they're speechless after an incident never seem to shut up about it.
We only say "Hey Stranger!" to people that we know.
Self-driving vacuums really do keep your house cleaner because they force you to constantly pick your stuff up so it doesn't get caught on something.
When you're singing along to your radio, you can imagine yourself a part of a chorus of thousands of commuters throughout your city.
The most unrealistic part of sitcoms is that 5+ people in one room will take turns talking.
If you're sitting down and receive shocking news, you stand. If you're standing and receive shocking news, you sit.
It only takes one slow-walking person in the grocery store to destroy the illusion that you're a nice person.
You probably shouldn't buy a soda right after an earthquake.
Some people find it odd that penguins give each other rocks despite us humans doing the same thing, just a little more fancy.
Spelling bees are only common in english-speaking countries because english violates every phonetic rule in some way.
Dog toys live a horrifying life in the Toy Story universe.
The door is the simplest device ever that still needs instructions on it.
The legend of King Arthur pulling the sword from the Stone could have really just been extracting ore from a rock and making a sword out of it.
You may have never realized this, but before a movie starts at a movie theatre, it's really just a bunch of people sitting in the dark eating corn.
The quickest way to sober up during a night out is to pat your pockets and not feel your phone.
"Building a building" must be one of the most confusing sentences to understand when learning English.
We associate daytime with the light from a single star, but nighttime with the light from millions of stars.
A ball will never "fall over."
If the purpose of life is to live long, to do no harm and to help others to survive, trees are doing a pretty darn good job.
The four elements (earth, water, air, and fire) coincide with the four states of matter (solids, liquids, gasses, and plasmas).
A scented candle store burning down would probably smell pretty good.
Most people know so little that if they were transported 200 years into the past, they wouldn't be able to invent anything any quicker.
When you're a kid, you don't realize you're also watching your mom and dad grow up.
When you really think about it, using an egg to bread a chicken breast just isn't right.
It kind of makes sense that the target audience for fidget spinners lost interest in them so quickly.
One day, somebody at Google literally convinced the entire corporation to have people drive down every road on Earth...